Pob Gove

Pieces of flair

The blue coat the I use for practical lessons has had an overhaul. It's been pimped. It now includes pieces of flair. If you've ever seen the film  Office Space you'll know what I'm on about. If you haven't then you really should.

Anyway the textiles teachers were given a massive bucket full of buttons and we were looking through them and having a laugh about customising my jacket with them.

My bluff was called and I now have to walk around school looking like a cross between a clown and a rag and bone man.

Silicon Valley *Update*

Regular readers may remember one of the set homework questions that the students get in year eight. It's about silicon valley and its links to electronics.

I inherited this homework booklet and at first wasn't that bothered about it. As time has gone on though it's become a remarkable indicator of just how awful students are at sifting through information on the internet and using it to answer some simple questions.

Look back in this blog for some other glorious answers here and here.. I thought I had seen it all but they still manage to surprise me with their brilliant/appalling attempts.

Q: "Why is it called Silicon Valley?"

A: "Because it really is a very silly valley"

Practical

The kids love making things. They don't much like designing things. They HATE writing things. It's all about the making. Everything else is LONG.

In the DT department the kids swap between textiles, food, graphics and resistant materials (my specialism) every term. The kids move the teachers stay where they are. So the start of every rotation is hard work for everyone. Lots of writing and designing, no making and a hell of a lot of moaning.

From the first few lessons it's "sir are we doing practical today?" "Sir are we making things today?" ad nauseum.

I've got eleven key stage three classes a week so multiply that by twenty students and you can imagine the amount of times I get asked in the first four or so weeks of a rotation and then that every term.

So sometimes I answer correctly with explanation, sometimes I get a bit short, sometimes I get a bit cheeky or sometimes I get plain rude. Depends how my day/week is going. 

If they come into my room during the five mins I have at lunchtime to cram some food down my neck and ask me, then they ALWAYS get plain rude.

A simple "No" is one of my favourites.

Often they ask "Sir are we doing work today?" To this I always reply "Yes we ARE doing work today and we have been for the last two weeks."

That really annoys them.

My colleague (a Graphics teacher) gets the same thing but substitute 'making things' for 'going on the computers'. He writes on his whiteboard in big letters:

"Sir are we going on the computers today?"

"No we are not going on the computers today"

He then had to write a number of variations on the original question as they change the question.

I wonder what happens in maths?

Last week I got a new variation on the theme by a year seven class.

"Sir are we touching wood today?"

At first I thought they were on the wind up but no. They genuinely wanted to know if they could 'touch wood' that lesson.

I could watch it all day...

Gove falls over

Excuses

Actual excuse made by a year eight student:

"Sir my brother eat my homework"