Thursday, 31 January 2013

6:30 am

Start of the working day sharpening pencils DT style.


So since I started teaching some five years ago the language in the classroom has changed a great deal. Phrases come and go and some remain.

Currently the phrases I hear a lot are:

"Don' lie!"

"You are dumb!"

"Ya done know"

Words that are new:

"Jarrin"  Like jarring. "Oh your sister is in my form class. Do you get on with her?" "No way she's jarrin'"

"Peak"  This one confused me a bit at first. Peak can mean bad. Or it can mean really good. I guess it just means it's like the peak of excitement/nightmare/pain in the arse. Generally said in a very drawn out way.  "Did you see that fight last night?" "Yeh it was Peeeeeeeeak bruv"

"Wavy"  A good thing.

"Calm"  A good thing

"Bleedin" Not such a good thing. I think. It may also be a good thing.

"Zoot" A joint.

Words that remain



Loads of the kids are into saying YOLO (as in You Only Live Once). Now to me it's the lamest slang term of them all. It's jarrin'.


Today my year 8's cracked me up. Their lesson was about creating a moodboard for their night light project. The theme is space and they have to explore images and words to do with space lay them out in an attractive and eye catching way then present them to the class.

As an aside to this story one student had consumed an energy drink at lunchtime and was super hyper to the point where he was pretending to be a squirrel in class. He did this for the whole lesson. He genuinely looked like he was on drugs. It might seem a little unprofessional but it was really quite hilarious. I was struggling to keep a lid on my laughter.

So the presentation came round and this one lad who really makes me laugh took his turn. He truly is an individual. I wish you could all experience the joy of hearing him go off on one. It's hard to capture the full joy of his presentation.

He showed the class his moodboard and I asked him to tell the class about his work.

In big bubble letters he had written "YOLO ET" and below it he had a drawing of E.T. (coloured in blue). Behind ET was a red rocket blasting into space. He does his presentation with full body swagger and totally plays to the crowd:

"So liiike this is YOLO E.T. yeh. This is da rocket that's taking the man dem in space to see YOLO E.T innit. When they see E.T. he says "YOLO" (does E.T. voice).

Monday, 28 January 2013

Student request

"Sir where dem back ting what mek im stand now?"


My class was covered for a lesson and when I returned I found that a student had made this and left it in on the table. I love it's clean, elegant lines and finesse. Classic mobile game "Snake" comes pre-installed.

In showing some friends this picture I found out about the  Cargo Cult Which is fascinating and tickles my grey matter. This phone would fit right in with them.


'I didn't ask to be born. There was an opening and I just felled out'. Year 10 student insight on life.


A Key stage 4 3D Design class are around the whiteboard watching a presentation on famous designers. They are a good class and pretty on the ball generally.

A picture of James Dyson is on the screen.

"So who is this designer?"

Class have no idea.

"Ok he designed a number of famous household products and he's from the UK"

Still no idea.

"He designed a type of Vacuum cleaner"



"Sir, is it Henry?"

Overheard in the playground...

"I'm like the black Eminem"

Friday, 18 January 2013

Back for 2013

In addition to not drinking alcohol for the month of January I have resolved to post more stuff in this blog. I have a few tit bits and amusing anecdotes collected from the past few months. I have collected them by making little scribbled notes in my planner and as I scan over them now I can't really remember what some of them were about. Which is not massively helpful.

School tales are like dreams. At the time the moments are so vivid and intense you feel you could never forget them but they come thick and fast and if they aren't recorded on here they start to slip from between my fingers and fade away. A single word in a planner now means next to nothing where at the time I could never imagine forgetting it.

All the more reason to get writing.

So I will.