Argh

I'm having a terrible time with my year 10 class this year. Not sure how much of this I have mentioned so far in this blog but there is a critical mass of what I refer to as "arseholes" in the group.

It doesn't take many of these "aresholes" to tip the balance from a manageable and pleasant atmosphere to a decidedly unpleasant one. If I could wave a wand and remove four or five of them then I think it would be ok. The dynamic would change. But as it is I try something to improve the situation then I have another bad lesson or two. I try another technique and push hard to change things yet again and have it spat back in my face. It does feel like that too. Rudeness, aggression and minimal effort is the norm.

I think however that the complete lack of humour in the lessons is the hardest to take. I don't mind if they aren't all that smart (and lord know's they aren't) or even if they can't be arsed (they are teenagers at the end of the day) but the fact that each lesson is devoid of even the slightest amusement. They are all out to fuck each other (and me) over at any given opportunity.

Anyway today's incident doesn't really concern one of the five main aresholes but it does give a general feel of the kind of day to day, smash my head onto a desk in despair vibe of the class.

The class are doing some research into furniture designers. The key point of the lesson is to analyse famous designer's furniture then try to take inspiration from it and make some sketches of ideas they could incorporate into their own designs.

You join us oh I dunno...half an hour into an hour lesson?

I have explained the task at least five times so far and I'm circling the room repeating myself at each table as successive waves of them decide to finally engage with what the lesson is actually about and decide that they need a pencil or they haven't got the worksheet or sir I don't get this.

I repeat this is half way through the lesson.

Their worksheet has different boxed areas to try and make things simpler for them.

And so to the reason I have logged into this blog this evening...

I'm standing by a table of four boys.

Student: "Sir what are you meant to write in this box?

Me: " Well you need to analyse the designers work and try to decide what the key elements of their style are....."

As I have started to talk the student has stopped listening to me and turned to have a conversation with his friend beside him. He is simultaneously taking a Pritt Stick (which I just handed out) and is crushing it in an engineers vice attached to the workbench.

I catch the eye of the student who the boy has turned to talk to who gives me a weak smile (as if slightly embarrassed by his mate).

"Unbelievable" I say to the boy.

Student (snapping out of his conversation): "What sir?"

Me: "Did you even realise that you did that there?"

Student: "Did what sir?"

Me: "You asked me a question and as I started to answer you turned away and started a different conversation. "

Student: "I didn't even realise I did that sir. What did I ask you?"

Me: "You asked me what you had to write in that box."

Student: "Which box?"

Apology letter

A letter received by a friend of mine who is the head of year at her school.

A student just came into my room an hour after the school day had finished and kind of sums up the Jekyll and Hyde nature of kids at this school

She is a real handful in class: 100% attitude all the time. Questions everything you say, disputes any piece of information you give out, answers back to any requests for her to obey rules, that sort of thing.

She kisses her teeth so much I'm surprised she has any left.

Anyway she walks into my room unannounced and without request and says:

"Sorry I missed the lesson on Monday sir I was ill."

"Ok. No problem." I say a little bit confused.

"I'll do the homework whenever I feel like it."

Then left.

Yin Yang

A simple and beautiful piece of symmetry.

Half term

It's finally here. That sweet moment when the holidays arrive. Part of the reason that we started to be teachers in the first place. That promise of a week off here, a couple of weeks off there. Sweet joy.

Well it is indeed sweet but generally I arrive at this point like a broken man. A bedraggled lost soul returning from war. Today is no different, although I ended the term on a high note. I had a brilliant final lesson with a lovely year seven class and got lots of loose ends tied up.

This half term doesn't promise much in the way of a holiday mind. I have a stack of books home to mark which I estimate will take 30 hours if I go at them in a professional manner. It's basically a working week but at least I can get some sleep and non contact time always recharges the batteries.

The last few weeks has been intense. Trying to drag year 10's and 11's towards project deadlines...by their hair sometimes. Things have been going well though. Constant calls for them to come to after school sessions to work on their coursework finally filtered in and for the past two weeks and every afternoon after registration, before I could even have a cup of tea, my room would be packed with them all sawing and hammering and constantly asking for shit. Be careful for what you wish for. My working day now starts at 6:30 and ends 12 hours later.

The stuff they write down on their coursework is a damn disgrace though. Total jibberish on the whole. Shocking and painful and worrying and laughably hilarious all at the same time.

Myself and my colleague did end the day creasing ourselves at a drawing from one of our year 11 students. The sort of the insane giggles you get when you are sleep deprived and on the edge.

The piece is a classic image from a bygone era. An era I remember well. A simpler time.

A time when peoples heads were perfectly round and could be drawn with a pair of compasses.

Can't

Sometimes when a lesson is in full swing interactions happen as if you had scripted them. These are the moments that I need to try and hang on to with this blog because they come in the middle of a maelstrom and more often than not they are forgotten.

Yesterday last period with my year nines the students were creating a template, then using Coping saws to cut out a shape from a piece of Pine. The class was going well and the normally very boisterous lot were working well and enjoying themselves. I was properly teaching them things. This might seem a silly thing to say from a teacher but quite often it feels like you spend the majority of your week pouring water onto a well oiled Duck.

One boy who I will call Teddy is quite an interesting lad. I don't know him that well but he is quite funny and has his own sort of unusual attitude to lessons and learning. He refuses to do either but somehow does that in an amusing slightly endearing way. Hard to express that in writing.

Yesterday this manifested itself in him saying "sir I can't draw this shape" and "sir I can't cut that out". I helped him with some things and told him that actually he could do those things. I left him for a bit then he came back with the same lines again.

I was attempting get a girl to do some work (she was holding an ice pack to her hand because she had punched a wall at lunchtime) but i was having a laugh and a joke with her. Teddy shouts across the noisy, busy workshop "Sir I can't do this cutting bit"

I decided to take a different approach and sort of more to his table and the girl I was talking to said "Teddy the amount of times I have heard you say the word 'can't' today is ridiculous! 'I can't do this' and you 'can't do that'. I think that actually you CAN do the things you are complaining about you just can't be bothered. I don't want to hear you say you 'can't' anymore"

Teddy (still fiddling with the saw and not really looking at me) "I can't hear what you are saying sir"

The girl and me and most of Teddy's table burst out laughing.

Clanger

Teaching a class on Friday and it wasn't going very well. It's was pretty flat and the kids weren't really adding much to the discussions or questions we were having. Those lessons are hard work especially when you have already taught the same lesson three times that week and had better results.

The kids are writing a design specification for a mobile phone holder. The section in question was on the aesthetics of their product. It's pretty much laid on a plate for them so the first section says:

"The shape of the backboard of my mobile phone holder will be..."

I look at one boys booklet and he has written "Dad". I chuckle a bit and say "are you going to make your phone holder the shape of your dad?" The rest of the kids at the table burst out laughing at the thought of this and the boy is quick to stop them.

"No, no, no, not the shape of my dad I'm going to spell out the word dad in big letters and cut that out!"

"Oh right" I say. We have a bit of a laugh at the table and I think that maybe the lesson isn't going to be dry as a stick after all.

A few minutes later the class have stopped working and I am asking them what they have done. Another boy who is right next to the boy I have just talked about puts his hand up and says "sir I have an idea for my backboard!"

"Oh" I say, "is it the shape of your dad?"  A vain attempt to resurrect a pretty lame joke.

The boy goes totally silent and the rest of the class go "OHHHHHH!"

Suddenly a little unsure what's going on I ask him what his idea is.

He just looks at me then his eyes well up and the tears start.

"Sir his dad just died" the class tell me from all directions.

Ground swallow me up now.

Awful moment. Just awful. The boy now has his head on his hands on the desk and is crying and to compound the agony the rest of the class keep coming up to me one by one to tell me that his dad has died.

"Ok can everyone get on with their work and leave him alone he's really upset."

I apologised to the boy saying that I didn't know and that it was a crappy joke.

Euuuurgh.

I've always been really careful when talking about the kids home lives. I never assume that they have a mum and dad at home or anyone really. I always say things like "whoever looks after you at home" or things like that.   The one time I forget and do something totally random like that and it goes massively wrong.

What. A. Clanger.